Thursday 17 March 2011

Partly Stuck In The Closet

Now here's a definition of the word bisexual:
sexually attracted by both men and women.
For 5 years of my life I have been open about the fact that I'm Bisexual, although I am more attracted to men than women. Now why am I telling my readers this.
The reason I am telling you this is because I would look like to give my readers an explanation of how this has affected me and changed me from the person I used to be to now who I am in terms of my personality and tone towards people.
When I came out openly about my sexual orientation, I got a lot of verbal abuse from people I knew, people I don't know, random self-justified drunken religious people and my own family and friends.
Father Jack - Random Drunk Religious Guy
The stuff they were saying to me were the usual "Oh, you're just curious", "You're just confused" or "Quit seeking attention". However, some statements that stick in my head is "You do realise you are going to burn in Hell if you don't change your sinfully lustful ways" and "You are f*****g whore, you realise that you c***". As time progressed, my situation got worst and within days, the abuse heightened to the point of assault and I was essentially afraid to even walk out my house at risk of being beaten to a bloody mess.
3 weeks later I was brutally assaulted by a group of supposed drunken chavs who would have most likely either killed right there and then or put me into a coma through which I would have to suffer silently until the day I did die. Back then, however I would have hoped they would kill me but most likely I would be in the latter situation. Luckily for me, the police had come and they all ran away leaving me as a bloody heap of flesh and bone upon the floor.
5 years later and I'm still here, living and breathing, the abuse is still rolling in like the wheels of a car, however now the insults are merely the generic babbling of an immature person who merely believes that she is the coolest person on earth. Here is a prime example of what she has recently said to me:
Immature person: "Gies a fag"
Me (in an emotionless tone): "No"
Immature person: "Can I use your lighter"
Me: "Don't have one"
Immature person: "I saw you light up earlier"
Me: "I'm using matches"
Immature person: "Can I have a match"
Me: "No"
Immature person: "Why the f**k not you curly haired freak?"
Me: "Why should I? Give me one good reason"
Immature person: "Because I'm straight"
Me: "No, you homophobe"
Immature person: "I'm not gay, unlike you, you bisexual c**t"
Me: "Are you that stupid that you don't know the meaning of HOMO-PHOBE?"
Immature person: "Go smoke your boyfriend"
Me: "2 things: first of all, learn how to make an understandable sentence and second of all: I might actually have a smoke"
Immature person: "Can I have a fag"
Me: "No"
A normal day in the life of a Burntislander. The fact that this fool actually assumed that this would actually offend me just helps to show how shallow, ignorant and excessively pretentious that most people are in relation towards the insults towards sexuality. To be honest these insults are most likely the insults said by 5 year olds and not 15 year olds.
In an incident a couple of years ago (2 to be precise) I went to donate blood and got told I am not able to just because I am bisexual. This was a massive blow to me because I wanted to donate my blood, but the system labels me as having (in the words of Irvine Welsh) "shite for blood."
Thankfully the LGBT community may be able to donate blood in the near future as the government are taking this under consideration. However this may be due to desperation for new donors but still, it helps to ensure that many more lives are most likely going to be saving lives. It suggests that the government is paranoid about most lesbians, gays and bis have HIV and AIDS, however this is not true seeing as straight people could have and people who get excessive tattoos could get hepatitis or some other blood disease.

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